Winter, Anxiety and University

I've been at university five weeks as of today! I feel super at home already and I'm having such an amazing time and, just to answer anyone who is wondering whether to go or not next year or in future years, DO IT. It's such a great way to break off from home life and to ease yourself into independence as opposed to just taking one giant leap, especially if you aren't ready for that kinda thing. 

For the first couple weeks it was absolutely roasting here in Liverpool, like I seriously went to the shops in pyjama shorts and a top and was too hot.......in September......in England......yeah.

Since October hit us the weather has taken a rather funny turn and it's actually starting to get quite cold. A plus regarding breaking out my winter coat collection but also quite a negative for various other reasons.

Last October/November time is when I started to get my first signs of anxiety and the December Christmas holidays is when it really hit bad. If you have an anxiety attack in a certain place then you begin to associate that place with the attack you had, therefore when you revisit, all the previous feelings come flooding back. As much as I get this with individual locations, I've recently learned i might possibly start to associate last Autumn/Winter's events with this Winter, setting me up for a pretty bad time.

I used to LOVE Christmas as a child, and I mean L O V E. Not just the present-giving but the whole atmosphere, the excitement everyone has, the unity and just sitting in on a freezing cold night sat in front of the fire with my family watching the X Factor (before it got shit). Last Christmas holidays I think i sat inside the entire time on my laptop, basically having the worst time of my life and the last thing I want is a repeat of that this year, especially with going back to university in the New Year.

I was sat in a lecture on Tuesday and weird feelings of last Winter just started to run through me. It's kind of bitter-sweet really. I looked at people taking off their coats and shaking off umbrellas and I started to feel very weird. As much as I love fuzzy jumpers and cuddling up inside a classroom with a hot-chocolate, trying desperately to take down notes with completely numb fingers, it's hard to enjoy this when the heat you feel from anxiety consumes you and all you want to do is stand outside in the freezing cold so you feel like you're getting at least SOME air (by the way, no sarcasm there, i genuinely enjoy stuff like that).

Some time last week (i think) Zoella was on radio one with Aled for The Surgery between 9pm and 10pm and were taking calls regarding anxiety experiences and top tips. I did ring in hoping to share my story and chatted to a lovely lady for a few minutes about life at uni but sadly they never rang me back :( 

I think I've coped incredibly well at Uni so far and I'd love to share any tips or tricks for coping with anxiety at uni if any of you are interested? Or even school, I mean same goes for both I suppose! 

I know this was a longer less visually-stimulating post than the ones I usually write but I just kind of had a case of word-vomit and felt like sharing this with you tonight!

Happy Mental Health Awareness Day also! I'm gonna crack on with watching some Youtube vids and open a box of flap jack! (insert peace sign emoji right here)

Here are some images I've taken of Lpool over the past couple weeks....

-Rachel