I don't know what I'm doing and I'm just kind of floating about a bit

This blog has been extremely defunct for a while now. I've been out of sorts and all over the place and generally feeling quite uninspired which are really my only reasons as to why I haven't been posting anything. 

Some things have happened: I applied to write for an online blog but because I have a job and such and I'm in uni 24/7 that is kind of on standstill which is very irresponsible of me but whatever.

I am currently looking for a new job to replace said existing job.

I got 68% (a high 2:1 and only 2% off a first) in my first English assignment which is good considering I spend all of my time at said job.

I have secured my house for the second year so I'm now living in Liverpool permanently until summer 2017.

My plans were to go on and study a masters in Fashion Journalism in London but I'm starting to rethink that and the prospect of just getting a good job and renting a flat is becoming far more appealing to me. Then again a masters is only 15 months and a lot cheaper (fees wise) than doing undergraduate so I may as well.

I'm going to start pouring my efforts into clothes and inspiring myself again and just see where that takes me.

Brb and Merry Christmas

xxrachelen

Suffragette.

I must first address the fact that this blogpost is the first piece of actual work that I am producing sat at my bedroom desk whilst sat on my new (wonky) Ikea chair.

Secondly: this post will just be me talking/discussing/reviewing (but not really reviewing) the newly released, period drama film Suffragette.

Thirdly, and I don't mean to spoil it for those who haven't yet seen it but there is a death involving a lady and a horse.

The film was released on the 12th of October so for those who are thinking of going to see it (I desperately urge you to do so) I've just placed the trailer above.

As I was watching the film I kind of devised a structure for this post in my head and decided to split it into themes and sections. As mentioned in previous posts I am really bad at coherently organising my thoughts so bear with me on that.

The plot of the film essentially follows the life of Maud Watts sometime around 1912 as she discovers, learns about and joins the suffragette movement. What I like about how it's written is that, although it follows Maud's personal struggles alongside factual and historical events, the things that affect Maud can be generalised to any woman at the time so they still hold a lot of relevance to the overall message.

Previously I was actually very uneducated on the Suffragette movement (which, as a feminist, is kind of bad really). When I walked into the theatre and during the first twenty minutes I had this pretentious attitude towards it and thought it could be all very basic as it only addresses the foundation of women's history and stuff that everybody really ought to know. What I thought is very true but when I really think about it, there was a LOT I didn't even know about the suffragette movement and there's a lot of things that a lot of people don't even know or pay any interest in, which needs to change. This leads me on to my first point/theme:

Maud Watts, I personally thought, was at first a very annoying character. It wasn't until a little while into the film that I started to realise how crap my judgement was so I turned this thought into a fully developed point in my head and stuck a little pin in it so as not to lose it. Throughout the beginning of the film we see Maud develop from a naive and passive character to one of knowledge yet she always has this insistence in not calling herself a suffragette. There was a sense of holding back I felt from her which really aggravated me. I sat there thinking "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, PLEASE JUST GIVE IN TO YOURSELF" and kind of internally screaming however we do eventually see Maud crack at a certain point during the film as her involvement with the Suffragettes really takes on a butterfly effect. What I decided is that you can draw major similarities between these women of 1912 and us women of 2015. 

Drawing similarities was a penny-dropping moment when I was walking home afterwards. Maud's reluctance to associate herself with these radical women connects so much to women of this era who are so reluctant to associate themselves with the word "feminist". There is this stigma towards feminism just as there was to suffragettes that makes me wonder whether in one-hundred years time people will sit in theatres gasping as they witness girls in clubs being groped or women in the Middle-East not receiving their right to an education. It angers me that people are willing to watch this film and take everything so seriously (disregarding how far we've come in the past 100 years) yet act dismissively towards what's happening to and in front of them.

Through Maud we see themes of work/the home and children being discussed but they look into the personal aspects of Maud's life which could really spoilt it for you if you haven't seen it so I won't delve into them too much.

The film gives focus to working-class women, middle-class women, male allies, imprisonment is very much touched upon, hunger strikes, force feeding, the cat and mouse effect and abuse within the workplace. I couldn't find any details that were spared.

The death of Emily Davison at Epsom was dealt with and shown very well I thought, so much so that I don't think I've ever heard silence within a cinema audience that you could probably physically cut with a knife. I also don't think I've ever seen a film that ended so you could genuinely hear people sobbing around the theatre.

At this point I'm frantically racking my brain for anything else I'm burning to write about.

The end of the film sees the funeral of Emily Davison and, as most biographical/periodical films do, provided a load of textual facts at the end. What I did enjoy though was how they managed to instil the fact that there is still a lot to be done regarding women's rights even now.

Dealing with my death anxiety (thanatophobia)

So I first thought it was important not to capitalize the title of this blogpost 'cause, well, no-one wants to see a whole load of DEATH on their Monday evening (even though that's how you may be feeling on your Monday morning), nor on their Wednesday morning (which is when I'm writing this post for you all).

This post isn't about dealing with death or my reaction/coping techniques with deaths i have personally faced in my life, which, in 20 years, I'm glad is a very, very small number. It is instead just a little bit of me talking about my reaction to *my own* death at various stages throughout my life.

YES, I AM GOING TO DIE SOME DAY and for me to really sit and think about this fact is a truly, truly fucking terrifying thing to me. Actually even as I'm writing this my heart is beating super fast and I'm probably on the verge of a panic attack (I have to make a work call later today though too so 

it's probably just that that I don't like).

When I was little I used to have the same dream over and over again and, even when it wasn't this specific dream and just something similar, every night I would wake up crying and call for my Mum. This dream usually involved some sort of situation in which I was going to die and it was always extremely dramatic. This went on for quite a while until I was about ten years old maybe, I can't exactly remember but I know that it happened a LOT.

My Mum used to go out when I was a kid and would often get a babysitter to look after us. On one of these nights, when I was maybe ten or eleven, I decided to read 'Vicky Angel'. This is a Jacqueline Wilson children's book if you didn't already know, I was a HUGE fan of Wilson's books as a kid but this one just totally freaked me out. The basic storyline is a girl (her name escapes me) loses her best friend Vicky in a car/road accident and it tells of how she copes with her death. I'm not sure what made me cry or freak out so hard, whether it was the death part or the coping part or just the book's themes collectively but I cried so hard my Mum had to come home to make sure I wasn't going to go into full-on break-down mode. (Thanks Jacqueline, for the mental scarring).

I used to go out with a boy who I often used to talk to about this subject yet I was always met with the ol' "I'm not afraid of death, it's inevitable" typical dickhead response. Not that you're a dickhead if you aren't afraid of death but I hate talking about this subject when the person I'm talking to thinks the correct way of dealing with it is to tell me death is inevitable. I know that. That's the problem. 

What made me write this post is that yesterday or the day before I was sat watching tv and then all of a sudden just started to think of how I'm going to grow old and die one day and I can't stop it. I didn't just think about it but I *really* sat on it for a few minutes to the point where I totally phased out and had to physically snap myself out of it (this tends to happen quite often). Getting like that is sort of like when you say a word over and over again until it doesn't sound like a word any more. That's what I always do, until death seems like such a real prospect that it could never ever possibly be real or it could never happen to me. 

What I have worked out is that I basically have major FOMO, with anything in life, fear of missing out hits me hard and dying is like an extreme version of FOMO just without any way of getting around it. This phobia sounds very trivial because everybody is eventually met with their own death *some*day but death anxiety is just absolutely bloody awful. It's like being in a Saw game, having a ticking timer right beside you as you're about to be met with your worst fear whilst enduring some kind of trap that likens to life and yes I just turned Saw into an allegory for life.
All I'm going to do is bury my head in the sand and hope that, when I get to be an old woman, I hope death doesn't scare me half as much because I'm content with everything I've done in my however-many-years-I've-spent-on-this-earth.

Here is something I found online whilst researching this topic, it describes all the different kinds of death anxiety.

 

(thanks for sticking and reading)
xxrachelen

MY THOUGHTS ON MILEY CYRUS AND GENERAL CULTURAL APPROPRIATION (for people who are failing to comprehend this subject matter)

Over the last three years we've seen rather a lot of Miley Cyrus but over the last few days or so she has become particularly relevant following her interview on Jimmy Kimmel and her VMA hosting/performance.

I want to create this post to educate people that I know personally on why Miley Cyrus is problematic. Too often am I met with the same response of "Oh but she's just being herself!!!" when I begin to talk about Miley and her ability to make an absolute constant tit of herself.

To truly tackle my thoughts and what I want to explain I feel I should start at the beginning.

Now when I first became interested in feminism and began calling myself a feminist it obviously  meant learning a lot and getting over a lot of bad habits I'd fallen into for example using terms such as 'like a girl' or 'girly' or 'don't be such a boy/girl!'. Achieving equality for women in society obviously doesn't just mean equality for white women but it means addressing the issues that women of black, Hispanic or Asian cultures face too.

Currently, about 12% of America's population (around 37.6 million people) identify as African American and 4% (13.4 million) are Asian plus the 2.3 million people who identify as Native American. Half those numbers and that's still millions of women who you aren't addressing if your idea of feminism only focuses on white women. Now, I'm looking at you Miley Cyrus.

Miley basically culturally appropriates the shit out of anything and has this habit of using black people as props and uses their culture when it's appropriate for her.

In 2013 Miley released the delightfully entertaining video for her single 'We Can't Stop'. Throughout it we see Miley wearing grills, Miley twerks, Miley wears heavy gold jewellery, Miley wears absolutely any kind of apparel that we associate with black culture or rather this 'Ghetto' image that she is so clearly striving for. Don't forget the token black girls we see littered in the back of the video too that are so clearly only featured throughout the twerking scenes and discluded near the end of the video where we see her and her fellow white gal pals revelling in the Californian sunshine. However all of this is okay, right? I mean it's Miley's first real single since the Hannah Montana era, she's just rebelling and breaking out of the Disney mould so, y'know, it's okay to let this one slide.

Now skipping forward a lot-a-bit to her Bangerz tour and most recently: her performance at the VMAs. I can't remember what date or what year but my sister Laura went with her friends to see Miley live and when watching the VMA's she pointed out that she used a lot of the same performers. I commend Miley for including a lot of different kinds of people on stage with her: small people, plus size women, drag queens, black women and men but you know they're all just props. WHEN does Miley sing about race? When does Miley show any interest in race other than when it's convenient for her or some kind of fashion statement she's trying to make? It's like 'oh you can be in my show but only so I can slap your butt and include you at any twerking intervals'.

Rewind a little back to her interview with Jimmy Kimmel last week where they chatted about ALL KINDS of things however it seemed conversation always reverted back to Miley's boobs. Now where white feminism comes in is that Miley always uses it as a defence mechanism for when anyone tries to attack her choices. It's like it's okay that she chose to wear dreads, despite them being a traditionally black hairstyle, because she spoke out about free the nipple and how it's okay because she's a vegan-nudist and such a good person!!!! Not to mention the body-shaming segment that goes on at the end of the interview where she actually described a nudist-beach experience as "scarring", despite the fact that she is a nudist herself thus she should be accepting of all body types, right? So is it only okay if you're young and not over the size 16 limit? I'm not getting it.

On top of all of this was of course her little comments to the press in reaction to Nicki and Taylor's twitter '''''feud'''''' whereby Miley accused Nicki of making the lack of Anaconda VMA nominations 'all about [her]'. She clearly misses Nicki's point about misrepresentation of Black women and Miley is exactly the kind of person Nicki talks about when discussing white women who get commended for exposing their bodies unlike the Anaconda vid which was instead labelled highly "inappropriate". And FINALLY Nicki's fucking "calling out" at the VMA's was just so necessary I howled with absolute laughter at Miley standing there in dreads being called out by a black woman who has literally clawed her way to the top fighting for what she wants and deserves.

 

Tying into all this I think it's important to state that white privilege so obviously exists and it exists in the form of Miley Cyrus. White privilege means being able to use and abuse black culture without the *joys* of experiencing being followed around a store by security or being told your dreads look like they smell of weed (despite the fact Miley openly smokes.......logic). White people have no culture we collectively adhere to so we just take from other cultures as and when it suits us and it's a little embarrassing. 

I hope if you know me and don't understand what cultural appropriation is or fail to see it existing, that you do now but i know there are some people who just will never understand it and this blogpost just seems like some whiny teenage girl complaining about things that don't affect her.

Also if you like Miley Cyrus, sorry (though I'm really not) this post wasn't for you but I hope I've shed some light on why she is just a massive ballbag.

xxrachelhelen

FOREVER 21 - New-In Monochromes Wishlist

I don't know if any of you have noticed the new-in pieces Forever 21 have, quite recently, added to their site BUT......Forever 21 have added some new-in pieces to their site and they're all bloody brilliant. I love F21 for many reasons amongst which include their amazing range of items as well as affordability. Scrolling through their new-in selection is like suddenly being redirected to Zara or some higher quality apparel site. The pieces look so well made, so simplistic and effortless and so I put together a selection of items that are definitely at the top of my current 'to-buy' list! - 

Longline Cardigan / Pocket Hoodie / Ant Applique Tee / Tapered Trousers / Cut-out Jumpsut / Cut-out Dress / Zipper Sweatshirt / Striped Crew Neck  / Shift Dress / T-shirt Dress / Cut-out Sweater / Terry Sweatpants

xxrachelen

LUSH HAIR-CARE - ☼ experiences + thoughts ☼

It's hard to believe that no more than four months ago the wonder of Lush hair-care products were unbeknownst to me and my long-yet-terribly-dry locks.

My hair is very dry at the ends yet not so much at the roots as it's been so long since I've dyed it any sort of colour (let alone the horror that is off-the-shelf red dye) which has given it time to grow out and rejuvenate a little. 

My usual hair routine consists of washing and then straightening at night before sleeping in a low-pony so that when I wake in the morning my hair is wonderfully flowy and not at all knotty. If I don't follow through with every step of this routine I will probably end up having to deal with monstrously fluffy/tuggy hair for a few days before I decide I can be bot hered to wash it again.

With all of this in mind and my wishes for my hair to return to how it used to be (post 13-year-old me deciding to dye my hair a disgusting purple-red hue in 2009) I turned to Lush.

My Lush obsession had already re-sprouted around April time (my religious watching of Beckie0 having no correlation to this whatsoever...not) so it was only fair to give their shampoos a go.

My first purchase was Rehab shampoo, mostly just because my Mum bought it so I decided to copy her as I had no idea where to start. To be honest I had no idea what it did or why it was good for my hair. My train of thought was that anything could save my hair at this point so why not give it a go?

As well as containing a whole load of fruit including papaya, kiwi and pineapple, Rehab is also home to Olive and Jojoba oil which fabulously counteracts my hairs insane dry-ness!

The name Rehab alone just screams, well, 'REHAB, REJUVENATION, EVERYTHING THAT CAN BE GOOD TO YOUR HAIR' and it is. Despite the size of the bottle (I opted for the smaller size as I saw no point in splashing cash on something that I may not even like) it lasts a bloody long time although i do use this in between one other Lush shampoo that I'll get to in a minute. 

Rehab is the perfect shampoo if you, like myself, have no idea where to start in getting your hair on the road to recovery.

Next I chose to venture into the land of hair masks. Now what I love about Lush hair masks is that you apply them pre-shower, unlike most drugstore ones that insist you get out mid-shower and apply it between shampooing and conditioning. H'Suan Wen Hua (and no, I still can't pronounce that) is the only hair mask I've tried so far, using a good two big tubs of it since my first purchase. I LOVE this hair mask, especially when used in conjunction with Cynthia Sylvia Stout as they both really work together to weigh fluffy hair down and mine just feels amazing after using them. The smell of this mask is very natural and not overly pungent (which I find with most Lush products) and I love that about it. I've never had hair that stays smelling of my conditioner hours after using it and I hate even just queueing behind or passing by someone in the street and being able to smell the disgustingly strong scent of their Herbal Essences conditioner. It doesn't feel like I'm piling a load of chemicals into my hair, instead it feels like I could have just combined the ingredients myself, it's that lovely and basic-feeling.

Cynthia Sylvia Stout is that long talked about 'other' shampoo I just know you've all been desperate for me to get typing about......

Following the Lush lady's advice I bought CSS to go alongside H'suan Wen to combat my immensely unruly and fluffy hair. On it's own this shampoo is suppose to be great for dry, light and fluffy hair as it's main agent is beer (queue not-so-yummy yeasty smell) When used, beer helps weigh the ends of hair down thus eliminating that horrible hard-to-manage lightness that comes with dry hair. I have super long and thick hair so having really weightless ends can be a huge pain 'cause the underneath gets tuggy almost instantly after stepping out the front door.

I don't know if it's just this product or if it's a combination of the mask and the shampoo but it really. Does. Work!!! My hair has looked so much better these past few weeks. I also find that it's a super long-wearing shampoo. I bought the 500ml bottle and I haven't even used half yet, even with my thick hair it's outlasted a lot of shampoos I've had in the past!

The final and fourth product is Retread! Retread is a hair conditioner (despite it's incredibly self-descriptive name it took me a rather long time figuring out how to use it...). The only thing I don't like about this product is that it comes in a pot and not a bottle which is very annoying whilst in the shower, you have to place it well out the way unless you want the whole thing accidentally filling up with water. I wish I had more to say about this product but I've only used it twice so I haven't really formed an opinion on it yet. I don't think I'm ever going to warm to Lush conditioners because they don't do that thing that drugstore conditioners do where they sort of naturally detangle your hair. It is SO hard to brush through my hair once I've used this conditioner, I rip so much hair out it's so painful.

THERE was my Lush hair care thoughts and experiences on the few products I've tried. I just wanted to write this post as a sort of check-in. I'm so super excited to begin trying new products, next on my list is Roots!

xxrachelhelen

Products:

- Rehab

- H'suan Wen Hua

- Cynthia Sylvia Stout

- Retread

MOVING INTO MY NEW HOME (sort of) + MINI HOMEWARE HAUL

This week I took my Dad and my Dad took his car and we both travelled down to Liverpool together for the day. I made this trip intending to just pick up a few bits and pieces for my new house and to organise my room a it more because so far all I'd done is dumped a few essentials into my room, left them there for a month and here I am now. 

I somehow spent a lot more money than i initially intended (there's a sentence that is all too familiar) even though I can't exactly remember what I bought or how it added up to what it did.

(everything in the pictures that I can cite I will link at the end of the post)

This is my room as you walk in however this picture actually makes my room like quite small, it's HUGE (or rather huge to me as I've been stuck in a tiny attic bedroom for the last ten years). I'm happy that it all came with matching furniture but storage is something I'm going to have to majorly look into; I just have far too much stuff! A wardrobe, desk, chest-of-drawers and a double bed is all there is which leaves plenty of room for my extra clothing rail and record player. 

You can't really see it in this picture but the window is so lovely and tall! We live in a Georgian house so they're that lovely divided-square design where you have to unlock the windows and pull them up to open them. 

My bed is just so cosy, cute and amazingly grey! Primark bedding is something brilliant sent from the heavens, I also have another cover in a geometric pastel design shown in my home-ware haul linked here. Almost everything in this picture is from Primark, I bought the little kitty cushion earlier this year so I'm afraid they probably won't have it in stock but it was about £4. The Grey blanket (which is actually from Ikea) and the creamy blanket are also featured in my previous home-ware haul! 

It took me about an hour to get my wall décor perfectly symmetrical but I'm so pleased with it! Of course the bunting is Dodie Clark inspired. My "wake up and smell the coffee" canvas was £4 from Primark, the bunting is from Home Bargains and all the other pictures are just miscellaneous things I've collected. 

The two cushions in the middle are a little old so I have no idea where they're from, I think the red lyrical one is from either B&M or Home Bargains.The two candles on my Ikea side table are from Home Bargains and Ikea, the grey tray laying there is also from Home Bargains.

I would first like to point out about this picture that the chair is wonky. It is wonky because I am not very strong and I couldn't click the chair into the base and now it is, well, like that....

The ceilings are very high so the walls look bare like I need to fill them up with something but I just want to leave it looking simple and not as cluttered as my room at home. I'm hoping the neutral colours in the grey, white (and hints of copper) will chill me out and help me get a good uni-work ethic going and make me less aggravated and anxious in general.

My chair is from Ikea and I didn't feature it in my home-ware haul because I couldn't really be bothered to assemble it, quite simply. My bin there is also from home bargains, it's just a flimsy wire mesh paper bin. On the wall above my desk is a notice/whiteboard from Home Bargains (100 points for guessing where I work/spend most of my time), so is the weekly planner chalk board. Wreathed around the notice board is my kitty cat lights from Urban Outfitters and underneath it is a selection of polaroids/photo booth snaps.

Minus the bottle of coke, this is pretty much how de-cluttered I want my desk to stay, whether it actually will is a different story (i just have SO MUCH STUFF that I will probably collect and hoard for months on end) (and by stuff I mean like a hundred copies of Elle and Company).

My Ikea copper lamp is one of the things I am most excited about! It's so simplistic and takes up barely any space, it's not clunky and clumsy like most lamps. The heart shaped photo frame is from BHS and actually has a picture of 5 year old me on holiday in Cornwall (is that a little too conceited?).

The grey toothbrush holder I use as a pen holder is from Ikea, the pencil case I got from Clas Ohlson, the other pencil pot is from Dunelm Mill and my selection of candles are either Home Bargains or Yankee Candle.

Again, I want to keep this space de-cluttered but it will probably be piled high with magazines and records in a months time. I probably have a few more bits and pieces I want to add but this is it for just now. My piggy bank is from Alternative and It's so gorgeous, it was actually a present from my Mum for my moving to Liverpool last September. The white tray is just a little candle tray from Ikea I'll probably end up using for little trinkets. The smaller candles are from Home Bargains (surprise, surprise) and the bigger one is an orange squash candle from Primark (mainly just for show, Primark candles can be a little crap). I have my little selection of display books there too: The Colossus by Sylvia Plath, How To Be a Parisian, Burning In Water Drowning In Flame by Charles Bukowski and IT by Alexa Chung. Ooo look and another pretty Primark candle. 

This is my little make-up station. 

To be honest writing that last sentence actually made me cringe a bit but that is actually what this little stool thing is. My plan of action is to sit in front of my window every morning doing my make-up in front of great natural lighting. I just took a few unopened toiletries with me and dumped them in this basket so this isn't actually how the basket will be utilised once I've moved in, I haven't decided what I want to do with it yet. The underneath bit of the bench will have al my make-up stored there or perhaps just products I am currently using OR my Lush products basket, I am very undecided. 

Again, the mug and the mirror are both from Home Bargains, the mug is to be used for my make-up brushes when I eventually cart them all down. I have another mug similar that I will use for my eye-make-up brushes. The two tea-light holders are from Ikea and the "my crap" trinkets tray is from Urban Outfitters.

This picture is only really here to show you all my gorrrrrrrgeous copper clock! It's actually from B&M, I'm not expecting it to last long but it is so super pretty! Hung around it are some copper fairy lights from Primark that I picked up. On the floor there is my wash bag from work which I find especially satisfying as it has two sections: 'light' and 'dark' and each detached with drawstrings and handles so I can easily cart my stuff downstairs to the washing machine!

And a BIIIIIG sigh of relief, we are finally almost at the end of what seems like a mammoth post.

All I wanted to show you was these copper clothes hangers from Primark. I stumbled across them when I was queueing at the checkout and decided to pick up ten (or 5 for £3). I plan to use these on my clothes rail; what's the point in having these gorgeous things hiding away where no-one can admire just how amazing they are????

And that's it!! I bought a dinner set and some boring stuff like bin bags and scourers but I decided to keep this post solely bedroom-themed.

Don't forget to check below for links to everything mentioned in this post.

xxrachelhelen

Mentioned items (items ft in haul are in bold): - 

Grey and cream duvet cover

Kitty Cat Cushion (similar)

Grey Blanket and White Blanket 

Bunting (similar)

Coffee canvas (similar)

Grey candle 

Desk chair

Mesh bin (similar)

Noticeboard (similar)

Chalkboard planner (similar)

Kitty fairy lights (discontinued)

Copper Lamp

Grey toothbrush holder

Pencil case

Cream pencil pot (discontinued)

Piggy bank (similar)

Candle dish

Orange Soda candle

Wire basket

Bathroom mirror (similar)

Tealight holders

'My Crap' tray (similar)

Pug mug (similar)

Copper clock (similar)

Copper fair lights (similar) 

Wash bag (similar)

Copper clothes hangers (unavailable online)

ERIN CONDREN UPDATE + STICKER HAUL

I've been finding it super hard trying to get into planning and actually abiding by the plans and tasks I set myself. I love planning but I'm just so lazy! (I blame university...)

I've bought quite a lot of stickers recently though so I've put together a little haul for you:

This is what the month at a glance pages look like and I'm actually very happy with this months because it's way more filled out than it usually would be. I've colour coded everything I could ever possibly find myself doing (i.e. correspondence, uni, errands, work, trips etc) and I've also started crossing off days just because it looks so satisfying.

This weeks spread is my first proper spread filled with stickers that match and it's so fulfilling to look at! Spending my Sunday nights (and sometimes Fridays or Saturday because sometimes I just can't wait) filling out the next weeks spread is so therapeutic and has turned into a little ritual. The stickers I used here are included in the haul, they're from the Watermelon Collection by EllieBethDesignsUK (all shops linked at the end of the post). Included was a sheet of full box stickers, a sheet of half boxes, and a miscellaneous sheet including the little "weekend" sticker, the watermelon icons and various other stickers. I decided to use it all this week because the British summertime is basically almost over (or will be soon enough) so this theme is more relevant now than it will be at the end of next month. 

First up is this August kit I ordered from PaperLovingMommy. I have her July August kit as well and they're so super handy dandy and has everything you'll need basics-wise. Included is a sheet of headings and some flags, a sheet of check lists and flags, a sheet of weekend banners and checklists and a hydrate and checklist sheet. I prefer this far more to the July kit as it's very plain so I don't have to coordinate my other stickers as much, there isn't this glaring red and blue colour scheme to deal with. I'm definitely using the kit as a base to next weeks theme. I also bought a Minions sticker book from work that I'll use as the central theme to ensure I actually watch the Minions movie that week! 

I invested a lot into theme-kits this week and full boxes because I love my spreads to be busy and have a lot going on. This pineapple kit goes very well with the August colours (so, yellow) therefore is very easy to coordinate stickers around. It's also just sooo cute and summery! I also got these florally full and half boxes from the Dahlia set by JuJuAllOver and some of her latte/frappe stickers which will in no doubt be used up within a couple of weeks judging by my Starbucks schedule. I also received this sheet of free craft stickers! I just love the sketchy designs, pastels are definitely more of a go-to than bright colours for me so this order is perfection.

This order from EllieBethDesigns is a little more practical, though obviously I still couldn't resist a cheeky themed-kit. I chose Autumn colours for the transitional weeks into winter, i'm so excited to feel so cosy and have my spreads totally match my moods. I also got two sheets of 'work' stickers and a load of hydrate stickers 'cause I'm trying (yet failing) to keep track of my water in take. It isn't going very well....

The above pictures are my most recent purchases from LilyPinkPrints. The little square, coloured stickers are school-themed with lots of little laptops and books and exam reminders which will be fab for my return to university next month (having my own dedicated stickers will motivate me a lot more, hopefully!) The gold and turquoise stickers are yet ANOTHER themed kit. I think they are pretty self-explanatory. Lastly, these little shrub stickers are the cutest things I have ever ordered!! Just look at them! 

I have such a silly sticker obsession at the minute that's really hurting my bank account 

♥♥ GIRL ONLINE ♥♥ - SORT OF REVIEW/THOUGHTS POST

~ This post doesn't contain any spoilers for those of you who haven't yet read ~

It has taken me two weeks to get around to writing this post because I am just so goddamn lazy but here we are. Technically I suppose it has taken me almost a year if we're counting from when the book was released but whatever. 

GIRL ONLINE is the debut novel from blogger, vlogger and general online-It-Girl Zoe Sugg. It essentially revolves around a young girl, named Penny, nearing the end of her secondary school experience who we see endure all the trials and tribulations that come with being a teenage girl spending their life online. Penny hosts an anonymous blog where she talks about all things boys, bff troubles and her ever-growing anxiety.

When I was little and even going into my early teens my life regarding books basically revolved around Louise Rennison and Jacqueline Wilson (praise Jacqueline). I collected absolutely every Jacqueline Wilson book I could get my hands on and only dropped the obsession when i discovered the hilarity that is Angus Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging and the Georgia Nicholson series. Wilson touched on very serious, gritty and hard-hitting family issues including mental health, death, physical abuse and divorce. They kind of prepared me for the bigger picture in life whereas the Georgia Nicholson collection was far more light hearted touching on the trivial yet oh-so-important issues of being a teen girl. Girl online, to me, is like a light mix between a Wilson and Rennison novel and I only wish I had it in my life when i was 14/15 years old and just beginning venturing into the land of tumblr and, sadly, the dark depths of the internet that is anon-hate.

I think it is important to point out the glaring similarities between aspects of Penny's life and Zoe's such as their growing online status, mental health and, more tenuously, their ability to flit across the world to far and amazing places. However, in saying that, I didn't spend the entire novel reading as though it was some kind of biography because it isn't.

As a Literature student I often feel ashamed that I am uncontrollably attracted to teen-novels (I say as I aggressively attempt to finish Jane Eyre after a MONTH AND A HALF of reading) but there is something a lot less trivial about the novels themes and something a lot more relatable instead. 

Anxiety and  the constant mentioning of Penny's personal sufferings makes the novel a lot more real. It is the first novel I've ever read that has any mentioning of directly dealing with anxiety, which can only be a positive thing considering her immense demographic, to me it's just super comforting to read as it was great being able to read and simultaneously think "YES, THIS IS EXACTLY IT". As one of the first major occurrences is Penny attempting to deal with a panic attack I did feel like the book was a little too biographical and I did feel a bit cringe. Something I found a little convenient was how quickly Penny's panic attacks came upon her and how fast she was to control them. In real life that isn't the case in most situations; it often takes people years to master their anxiety though I suppose for the sake of the second novel I'll take it on the chin and presume it will continue to be touched upon. Overall I do admit that this bitter-sweet link between myself and Penny made it even more likely that I was going to love the book.

Internet and online culture is the second most glaring theme. It's such a current topic but rarely written about in this kind of format and it isn't exactly like Zoe Sugg doesn't know what she's talking about regarding people hiding behind online anonymity. There are little breaks throughout where one of Penny's blogposts are inserted (unlike how i thought it was going to be, the book isn't made up of blogposts) so both sides to Penny's life are visible to the reader. I figured there were two of kinds of anonymity in the form of Penny's blog and the endless stream of keyboard warriors we see attacking her in the final chapters. The blog represents irony in the fact that real life isn't very real to Penny and the only place she can be herself is hiding behind this alter ego: 'Girl Online'. Contrastingly the negative comments we see being made in the final chapters aren't productive or contributing to anything much at all (other than the shattering of the fragile self-confidence of a teenage girl). Whether Zoe knows it or not she really highlighted major issues to do with online culture and that really the world is just full of lame cowards. 

I think this book could just make a lot of teenage girls feel better about life. It is an immense cliche but you really don't need a lot of friends and 10+ faves on all your tweets to make it through life until you're twenty.

I want to end this post here because it has taken me literally days to write and perfect it and it still isn't perfect. I feel like I didn't make enough points but this is my blog and these were my thoughts so I don't care how sparse they are. 

I loved this book which was actually kind of surprising as, due to the amount of vloggers miraculously turning into authors, I thought GO had no chance. Roll on Autumn and the release of the second book!

xxrachelhelen

♥♥ IKEA + PRIMARK / HOMEWARE HAUL ♥♥

On Monday Georgia and I took a nice little trip across to Gateshead to have a gander around Ikea and the Metro and I picked up QUITE a lot of stuff. Most of it is homeware but looking at what I have it doesn't seem as much as I thought I had originally bought. I also bought myself a few goodies that I can use now and not just for university (hello Real Techniques Bold Metals brush) but I just decided to keep this post exclusively to homeware.

I started off in Ikea. I had an idea of a few things I'd like to buy but i also just picked up bits and pieces I fancied at the time. I've always wanted masonry jars to store my dry goods so I picked up quite a few. I got three of the large clippy type ones to keep my pasta, rice and whatever else in and then a set of 4 mini jars to keep tea-bags and coffee. I also would have liked a set of chalk sticker labels so that I can write and re-write whatever I decide to store inside of them.

One of the things I absolutely knew I needed was a bedside table, which I successfully sought out and bought! I didn't get a picture of it but you can see glimpses of it in the pictures I did include........or you could just take a look on the Ikea website. I also knew I had to buy a desk chair as my room in my new house didn't have one so I picked up the Snille Swivel chair (it's not assembled so, again, here's a link)

Also there are some chopping boards. I bought some chopping boards. A big one and a small one. They're chopping boards.

I BOUGHT THIS REALLY COOL LAMP AND I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.

Not only does it have this cool twisty neck and not only is it small and compact but it is copper! Ikea didn't have many copper products in but this lamp is absolutely perfect and soooo gorgeous. I wouldn't mind getting down to 3000 word essays at 2am is I had this beauty to light my desk with.

The grey cup on the left is actually a toothbrush holder but i figured I could double it up as a pencil/make-up brush holder. The candle is also from Ikea, I dropped a vanilla candle for this one in favour for my ever-growing grey theme I've got going on.

My Orange Sunshine Soda candle I picked up from Primark. It actually smells super lovely and hopefully, unlike all my other previously-purchased Primark candles, it will actually release some sort of scent that I can smell from more than 30cm away.

These two teeny-tiny tealight holders were something crazy like 39p. I'm not a huge tealight person but I figured I could try to be so the sake of creating a cosy uni-room.

This white tray is also for holding candles but who knows what I'll come to use it for, either way it's cute and I'm obsessed with collecting little (and pretty useless) things like this.

I absolutely love Primark home and think it is so seriously underrated. Their choice of bedding designs and the designs alone are amazing! I already have a couple in keeping with my grey/cream theme but their choice of generally neutral colours is great. This one I picked up is so geometric and funky, I just can't wait to dirty it up with coffee stains, ink stains and probably a lot of biscuit crumbs :)

The duvet I bought is a pretty low tog which might suck in winter but I decided that I'd rather be cool in summer and be able to wrap up with blankets in winter rather than be absolutely sweating my socks off in mid-July under a 1000 tog beast of a duvet. Keeping that in mind, I picked up this cream and sort-of grey SUPER SOFT blanket from Primark. It's absolutely huge and ever since I bought it I have been fantasising about cold winter nights on my bed with my laptop, candles lit, while I scroll through Pinterest.  The second throw I bought from Ikea, it's slightly less-soft but very cool looking and will go with everything. And that's it.

I also bought these amazing slippers from Primark. They are amazing, they have pugs on the front and I am never taking them off.

I know it doesn't look like much but some how in the space of a few hours I managed to spend almost £200. I did buy a lot of other non-homey things but it's still quite worrying. I also just paid half of my summers rent in one go so now my bank balance is looking totally pathetic and the pressure to save up all my wages is seriously real.

It's okay though.

I "needed it all".

rachelenxx

Haul items featured in this post with links:

♥ KORKEN masonry jars

♥ RAJTAN spice jars

♥ SNILLE swivel chair

 ♥ LINDVED side table

♥ LEGITIM chopping boards

♥ JANSJO table lamp

♥ MJOSA toothbrush mug

♥ SINNLIG candle

♥ VASNAS tealight holder

♥ IDEAL candle dish

♥ GURLI throw

♥ PUG slipper (similar)

♥ LARGE throw

♥ GEOMETRIC duvet cover (similar)

♥ GREY mattress cover

Everything else featured in this post without links (sorry):

♥ pug mug - Home Bargains

♥ sugar cookie candle - Home Bargains

♥ make-up brushes - most Real Techniques