Topshop New-in Picks + Buys

Today I woke up at 5:30am. This is very bad because I am getting very ill and so could do with the sleep however it is very good because it means I have more time in my day to do things like sit and stare out my window or at the pile of work I should be doing for uni.

Topshop at 10am is eerily quiet and creepy so I spent my time hiding behind the jewellery counters picking up some (a lot of) discounted rings. I also came across a glorious wall of clothing I could only joyously presume was the new-in section and so I ran home to compile this list of my favourite picks. 

I decided to pick up just two items because I don't get paid until tomorrow so...

I love shirts, I love anything un-fitted, especially when tucked into a pair of skinny's because the shirt goes all poofy and pirate-like (nice technical lingo). The detail in the sleeves and the way the blue and red colours are woven together is also so lovely. I worship anything geo.

Now because I'm a size 10/12 I usually go on guess work, a lot of 'ummm'-ing and 'ahhh'ing goes on because I'm too lazy to queue up for the changing rooms. Today I was feeling a little optimistic because I picked up a 10 and oh boy is it tight. Some hard graft went into zipping this bad boy up I'm tellin' ya. I only intended on picking up the skirt actually but the two geo prints are so clashing I thought they'd go perfect together so I gave in to the little devil perched on my shoulder and got both. I'm really obsessed with a-line skirts and the wool is so thick and comfortable. I also enjoy that the zip comes all the way down and I'm able to just wrap the skirt around me instead of standing into it. 

With valentines day just around the corner a lot of the new pieces are very bright and pattern-clad. I'm never a fan of anything too bright so my own picks are rather dulled down I'm afraid however you can check out all new-in items here on their website.

Here is a compilation of all the new-in items I'll most-likely end up owning in the coming months:

xxrachelhelen

Purchases:

Casual Mix Stripe Shirt / Stripe Wool A-Line Skirt 

Wishlist:

Shiny Rust MA1 Bomber

Blouson Sleeve Jumper

Tall Moto Smokey Jamie Jeans

Boutique Ultimate Biker Jacket

Colour Block Rib Jumper

Roll Neck Jumper

Suede Sock Boots

Skinny Sandals

Patent Elastic Boot

Striped Cropped Knit

Kimono Wrap Dress

Sloane Aviator Jacket

Boxing Day Buys x Topshop / Calvin Klein

It seems to me that every Boxing Day I jump out of bed at 8am sharp ready to hit the stores for 9am like it's some kind of New Year requirement. I suppose it is of sorts.

Much like the rest of the population of the UK, I hit the Boxing Day sales hard, not too hard, but just firm enough so that my bank balance didn't go screaming too far into my overdraft. 

This years smartest decision was by far choosing to attack the Topshop sales rack before 11am. Most of my sizes are usually long gone and sent off into someone else's closet before I get a chance to even take my first sip of coffee that morning. So on the 26th of December 2015, I threw my mild latte over my left shoulder, jumped into Georgia's Suzuki Swift and managed to hunt out quite a small yet amazingly select handful of bargains.

- Floral Jumpsuit - £15 - 

When I saw the price of this Jumpsuit as I prized it away from one of the racks I nearly cried with joy. Much like a heck of a lot of people, I dream of looking like someone you could only come to describe as a '70's wet dream'. You know, floral prints, big platform boots and flowing trousers galore (never forget a great hat, with a nice huge brim, to finish it off), so naturally i gravitated towards this beauty. It's perfectly slouchy and although not at all weather appropriate, I've been living in it for the past week and refuse to part with it. Disregarding that old ketchup stain on the left leg. The tied-waist and open back scream 'comfort' for me, inside and out. I can't wait for summer to arrive so I can pair this with a nice pair of Birks. My Vans are doing the job for now.

- Sequin Long-sleeved Dress - £60 -

So I told a little porky and it turns out this item wasn't actually a sale piece per-se however it is the most christmassy dress I've ever clapped my eyes on and it sort of bullied me into buying it. I wore this on New Years and it went down an absolute treat. I'm never one for bodycons because I have rather a gut on me but this dress doesn't cling to me at all in the way cotton would. It is extremely short which was fun dealing with at 5 foot 10 however due to a lack of cleavage (I have a severe distaste for padded bras) I think this balanced out very well. The inside of the sleeves are mesh which is such a gorgeous detail also and I love the way the green is very muted.

- Blue Velvet Crop-Top - £15 - 

How To Be a Parisian taught me that there are two things you can do that you should never: wear crop tops and drink from a straw. Apparently it is very childish to do either however I am not Parisian (no matter how hard I practice) so I broke one of these rules. I think it is acceptable given the circumstances. I adore this crop top and I love the fact that it fits me so perfectly. It isn't tight which is great and, again, the lack of cleavage ensures comfort. I don't know what it is with my sudden obsession with v-necks either.

Sadly my eyes are not bluer than velvet.

- Pin-Stripe Shirt - £20 - 

This has to be one of my favourite things I've ever, ever, EVER bought. I often love dressing as unfeminine as possible so I bought this in a size 16 because I just hate the way women's shirts fit in at the waist. The fact that this piece has two, very large, breast pockets is both aesthetically pleasing and practical in that I now have at least two that can fit my phone. I've been pairing this with my grey trousers from Topshop (similar linked here and pictured below) both tucked and untucked. Again, comfort is key.The only problem being is it creases far too easily and I am too lazy to even go near an iron.

- Calvin Klein Crop Top/Knickers - £28/£18 - 

I used to dream every night about owning a pair of Calvin's. Now that dream has become a reality and they really do fail to disappoint. I don't know if it's me saying this or the branded tagline but it really is the comfiest cotton ever to grace my butt-cheeks. There is literally nothing more to say about this pair other than I am an incredibly materialistic human-being who receives more student discount than sense. 

- Pointed Lace-Ups - £10 - 

I want to be Alexa Chung and because of this it means I am currently on the hunt for any all pointed-toe ballet flats that look anything like this. I now own three pairs and they all look identical but it's all good (baby baby). I adore pointed lace-ups. I pair them with skinny jeans mostly but their versatility is incredible. I was even so close to wearing these out on New Years Eve. I believe you could be wearing a plastic bin bag and still look fabulous as long as you're simultaneously walking along wearing a pair of pointed-toe flats. 

It would be greatly appreciated if everybody could ignore my make-up in all of these pictures. It's so extreme; I'd just been modelling for my sisters media project and my only explanation is that she was in charge of make-up at 10am in a very dully-lit room. 

I hope you enjoyed this post as it's been a while since a post like this, or any post at all really, so I hope this makes up for my absence.

xxrachelhelen

I don't know what I'm doing and I'm just kind of floating about a bit

This blog has been extremely defunct for a while now. I've been out of sorts and all over the place and generally feeling quite uninspired which are really my only reasons as to why I haven't been posting anything. 

Some things have happened: I applied to write for an online blog but because I have a job and such and I'm in uni 24/7 that is kind of on standstill which is very irresponsible of me but whatever.

I am currently looking for a new job to replace said existing job.

I got 68% (a high 2:1 and only 2% off a first) in my first English assignment which is good considering I spend all of my time at said job.

I have secured my house for the second year so I'm now living in Liverpool permanently until summer 2017.

My plans were to go on and study a masters in Fashion Journalism in London but I'm starting to rethink that and the prospect of just getting a good job and renting a flat is becoming far more appealing to me. Then again a masters is only 15 months and a lot cheaper (fees wise) than doing undergraduate so I may as well.

I'm going to start pouring my efforts into clothes and inspiring myself again and just see where that takes me.

Brb and Merry Christmas

xxrachelen

Suffragette.

I must first address the fact that this blogpost is the first piece of actual work that I am producing sat at my bedroom desk whilst sat on my new (wonky) Ikea chair.

Secondly: this post will just be me talking/discussing/reviewing (but not really reviewing) the newly released, period drama film Suffragette.

Thirdly, and I don't mean to spoil it for those who haven't yet seen it but there is a death involving a lady and a horse.

The film was released on the 12th of October so for those who are thinking of going to see it (I desperately urge you to do so) I've just placed the trailer above.

As I was watching the film I kind of devised a structure for this post in my head and decided to split it into themes and sections. As mentioned in previous posts I am really bad at coherently organising my thoughts so bear with me on that.

The plot of the film essentially follows the life of Maud Watts sometime around 1912 as she discovers, learns about and joins the suffragette movement. What I like about how it's written is that, although it follows Maud's personal struggles alongside factual and historical events, the things that affect Maud can be generalised to any woman at the time so they still hold a lot of relevance to the overall message.

Previously I was actually very uneducated on the Suffragette movement (which, as a feminist, is kind of bad really). When I walked into the theatre and during the first twenty minutes I had this pretentious attitude towards it and thought it could be all very basic as it only addresses the foundation of women's history and stuff that everybody really ought to know. What I thought is very true but when I really think about it, there was a LOT I didn't even know about the suffragette movement and there's a lot of things that a lot of people don't even know or pay any interest in, which needs to change. This leads me on to my first point/theme:

Maud Watts, I personally thought, was at first a very annoying character. It wasn't until a little while into the film that I started to realise how crap my judgement was so I turned this thought into a fully developed point in my head and stuck a little pin in it so as not to lose it. Throughout the beginning of the film we see Maud develop from a naive and passive character to one of knowledge yet she always has this insistence in not calling herself a suffragette. There was a sense of holding back I felt from her which really aggravated me. I sat there thinking "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS, PLEASE JUST GIVE IN TO YOURSELF" and kind of internally screaming however we do eventually see Maud crack at a certain point during the film as her involvement with the Suffragettes really takes on a butterfly effect. What I decided is that you can draw major similarities between these women of 1912 and us women of 2015. 

Drawing similarities was a penny-dropping moment when I was walking home afterwards. Maud's reluctance to associate herself with these radical women connects so much to women of this era who are so reluctant to associate themselves with the word "feminist". There is this stigma towards feminism just as there was to suffragettes that makes me wonder whether in one-hundred years time people will sit in theatres gasping as they witness girls in clubs being groped or women in the Middle-East not receiving their right to an education. It angers me that people are willing to watch this film and take everything so seriously (disregarding how far we've come in the past 100 years) yet act dismissively towards what's happening to and in front of them.

Through Maud we see themes of work/the home and children being discussed but they look into the personal aspects of Maud's life which could really spoilt it for you if you haven't seen it so I won't delve into them too much.

The film gives focus to working-class women, middle-class women, male allies, imprisonment is very much touched upon, hunger strikes, force feeding, the cat and mouse effect and abuse within the workplace. I couldn't find any details that were spared.

The death of Emily Davison at Epsom was dealt with and shown very well I thought, so much so that I don't think I've ever heard silence within a cinema audience that you could probably physically cut with a knife. I also don't think I've ever seen a film that ended so you could genuinely hear people sobbing around the theatre.

At this point I'm frantically racking my brain for anything else I'm burning to write about.

The end of the film sees the funeral of Emily Davison and, as most biographical/periodical films do, provided a load of textual facts at the end. What I did enjoy though was how they managed to instil the fact that there is still a lot to be done regarding women's rights even now.

Dealing with my death anxiety (thanatophobia)

So I first thought it was important not to capitalize the title of this blogpost 'cause, well, no-one wants to see a whole load of DEATH on their Monday evening (even though that's how you may be feeling on your Monday morning), nor on their Wednesday morning (which is when I'm writing this post for you all).

This post isn't about dealing with death or my reaction/coping techniques with deaths i have personally faced in my life, which, in 20 years, I'm glad is a very, very small number. It is instead just a little bit of me talking about my reaction to *my own* death at various stages throughout my life.

YES, I AM GOING TO DIE SOME DAY and for me to really sit and think about this fact is a truly, truly fucking terrifying thing to me. Actually even as I'm writing this my heart is beating super fast and I'm probably on the verge of a panic attack (I have to make a work call later today though too so 

it's probably just that that I don't like).

When I was little I used to have the same dream over and over again and, even when it wasn't this specific dream and just something similar, every night I would wake up crying and call for my Mum. This dream usually involved some sort of situation in which I was going to die and it was always extremely dramatic. This went on for quite a while until I was about ten years old maybe, I can't exactly remember but I know that it happened a LOT.

My Mum used to go out when I was a kid and would often get a babysitter to look after us. On one of these nights, when I was maybe ten or eleven, I decided to read 'Vicky Angel'. This is a Jacqueline Wilson children's book if you didn't already know, I was a HUGE fan of Wilson's books as a kid but this one just totally freaked me out. The basic storyline is a girl (her name escapes me) loses her best friend Vicky in a car/road accident and it tells of how she copes with her death. I'm not sure what made me cry or freak out so hard, whether it was the death part or the coping part or just the book's themes collectively but I cried so hard my Mum had to come home to make sure I wasn't going to go into full-on break-down mode. (Thanks Jacqueline, for the mental scarring).

I used to go out with a boy who I often used to talk to about this subject yet I was always met with the ol' "I'm not afraid of death, it's inevitable" typical dickhead response. Not that you're a dickhead if you aren't afraid of death but I hate talking about this subject when the person I'm talking to thinks the correct way of dealing with it is to tell me death is inevitable. I know that. That's the problem. 

What made me write this post is that yesterday or the day before I was sat watching tv and then all of a sudden just started to think of how I'm going to grow old and die one day and I can't stop it. I didn't just think about it but I *really* sat on it for a few minutes to the point where I totally phased out and had to physically snap myself out of it (this tends to happen quite often). Getting like that is sort of like when you say a word over and over again until it doesn't sound like a word any more. That's what I always do, until death seems like such a real prospect that it could never ever possibly be real or it could never happen to me. 

What I have worked out is that I basically have major FOMO, with anything in life, fear of missing out hits me hard and dying is like an extreme version of FOMO just without any way of getting around it. This phobia sounds very trivial because everybody is eventually met with their own death *some*day but death anxiety is just absolutely bloody awful. It's like being in a Saw game, having a ticking timer right beside you as you're about to be met with your worst fear whilst enduring some kind of trap that likens to life and yes I just turned Saw into an allegory for life.
All I'm going to do is bury my head in the sand and hope that, when I get to be an old woman, I hope death doesn't scare me half as much because I'm content with everything I've done in my however-many-years-I've-spent-on-this-earth.

Here is something I found online whilst researching this topic, it describes all the different kinds of death anxiety.

 

(thanks for sticking and reading)
xxrachelen